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Authenticity Hangovers: What Happens After You Speak Your Truth

Janette Vogt — Sat, 01 Mar 2025 18:00:00 +0000

There’s a moment of relief—quickly replaced by a low-grade emotional nausea.

You did the brave thing. You set a boundary, voiced a long-held truth, or said no without padding it with three layers of justification. Maybe it was a conversation you rehearsed in your head for months. Or maybe it came out in a moment of clarity, and now you’re staring at the aftermath like, What have I done?

Welcome to the authenticity hangover.

It’s not officially in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), but it should be.

This is the emotional whiplash that hits after you finally choose yourself in a relationship, a conversation, or a life decision. It’s what shows up when you’ve spent most of your life making other people comfortable and suddenly decide to make yourself comfortable instead.

The hangover isn’t a sign you’ve done something wrong. It’s a sign you’ve broken a pattern. And like any pattern disruption, it comes with a cost—uncertainty, discomfort, and an overactive brain playing back everything you said like it’s trying to find evidence you’ve made a huge mistake.

What Does an Authenticity Hangover Feel Like?

It varies, but here’s the general vibe:

A vague desire to apologize for your existence
Reliving the moment on a loop, as if obsessing might change the script
Sudden urge to smooth it all over and pretend it never happened
Emotional whiplash—pride one minute, guilt the next
Questioning whether being honest was too honest

If that sounds familiar, congratulations. You’re not spiraling. You’re detoxing from self-abandonment. That disorientation? It means you’re shifting.

Why Is Being Honest So Uncomfortable?

Because many of us—especially those raised to value niceness, politeness, and “keeping the peace”—have internalized the belief that our job is to make others feel okay. Even at our own expense.

So when you stop performing, pleasing, or placating and start telling the truth, your nervous system reacts like you’ve just broken some sacred, unwritten contract. And in a way, you have.

You’re no longer available for silent resentment, passive agreement, or emotional labor in exchange for acceptance. You’re rewriting the terms. And yeah, that can feel lonely at first.

3 Tools to Ride Out the Vulnerability Without Backtracking

1. Name it. Normalize it. Don’t negotiate it.

“This is an authenticity hangover. It means I did something brave.”

When the discomfort hits, don’t interpret it as failure. Don’t assume you were too much, too direct, or too selfish. You weren’t. You were honest. Stay out of damage control unless you were unkind. Truth doesn’t always come with a smile—and that’s okay.

2. Anchor yourself in the why.

Write it down. Say it out loud. Text it to your best friend. Remind yourself why you spoke up. What was the emotional cost of staying silent? What would it have meant to go along with something that wasn’t aligned?

When the guilt creeps in, return to your why. It’s your anchor.

3. Build in aftercare.

You just stretched an emotional muscle you maybe haven’t used in decades..or ever. It would be weird if it didn’t hurt a bit.

Cancel non-essential things. Go for a walk. Journal it out. Listen to music that doesn’t try to fix you. Talk to someone who’s earned the right to hear your story—not someone you need to convince.

And for the love of peace, don’t send a follow-up text to “clear the air” unless it’s genuinely needed. You’re allowed to let the truth stand on its own.

Let This Be Your New Normal

The goal isn’t to avoid discomfort—it’s to stop avoiding yourself.

The first few times you speak your truth, it might feel strange. Unsteady. Awkward. Like wearing shoes that don’t quite feel broken in. But over time, your voice starts to feel like home again. You stop micromanaging other people’s reactions. You stop fearing the fallout of your own clarity.

And eventually, what once felt like a hangover becomes something else entirely: freedom.

Truth-telling isn’t always tidy, but it’s how you start living in alignment—one honest moment at a time. If you’re navigating your own “authenticity hangover” and need support as you unlearn old patterns, I’m here. Coaching with me isn’t about fixing you—it’s about finally hearing yourself again.

Peace & Love,

Janette

The post Authenticity Hangovers: What Happens After You Speak Your Truth appeared first on Janette Vogt.

A Year Without Alcohol: How I Found Freedom and Clarity

Janette Vogt — Wed, 01 Jan 2025 09:30:46 +0000

Today marks a deeply satisfying milestone for me—one full year without alcohol. For many years, I contemplated going alcohol-free, and after taking two separate five-month breaks, I knew deep down it was the path I wanted to take. But imagining a life entirely free from alcohol? It seemed nearly impossible. After all, alcohol was ingrained in so many aspects of life—celebrations, dining out, Sunday Fundays—it was just there.

What’s interesting is that no one ever asked me to quit or suggested I should. Quite the opposite—most people loved me as “the fun one” when I drank. I was silly, carefree, and happy… until I wasn’t. There came that tipping point—the slurring, the stumbling, the endless repetition. That version of me? I hated her.

So, let’s rewind to where it all began. I’m the youngest in a family of six, and celebrating with alcohol was just part of our world. In fact, my earliest memory of drinking was in third grade. Shocking, I know, but hear me out. On birthdays, we’d toast with champagne. Even as the youngest, I had a tiny glass that grew with age. I learned early to associate alcohol with joy, with celebration.

This carried into high school, where my friends and I drank on weekends—nothing too wild, just a regular habit. Life shifted at 22 when I had my first child. Parenthood and a demanding career pushed alcohol far into the background. Between pregnancies (I had five children!) and the chaos of life, there wasn’t much room for overindulging. But as time went on and my kids grew up, alcohol crept back into the picture—margaritas at birthdays, cocktails on holidays. It felt like nearly every week brought along an event or reason to drink. Back then, it felt normal. Now? I cringe at the thought of my old go-to, a White Russian.

For many years, alcohol wasn’t something I obsessed over. I drank socially at events, dinners, or nights out with friends. The problem wasn’t just the frequency or the amount – it was also who I became when I drank. I didn’t like that version of myself: loud, repetitive, messy, making plans I’d regret. In hindsight, some of the worst moments of my life had alcohol as a key player.

By my late 40s, I knew I needed a change. The hangovers were unbearable, and let’s be honest—no one wants to see a middle-aged woman drunk. But what really hit me was the realization that I couldn’t imagine going out to dinner or an evening event without a drink. I had to carefully count and limit my drinks because I didn’t have an off switch. Two drinks turned into three, which turned into four… and you know how that story ends.

The hardest part wasn’t quitting—it was the mental hurdle of imagining life without alcohol. How could I enjoy Christmas without champagne? Birthdays without a toast? Nights out without that cocktails? It felt daunting, even impossible.

But last year, I made a decision. December 23, 2023, would mark day one of an entire year without alcohol. And now, a year later, I can honestly say it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.

The benefits were immediate and transformative. No more hangovers. No more worrying about what I said the night before. It’s freedom—pure and simple. My sleep improved (though it took a while), my skin glowed, I shed weight, and I found myself with so much more energy. I rediscovered the joy of going out and genuinely having fun without the crutch of alcohol. It reminded me of being young, when life was rich and vibrant without any thought of cocktails or wine. I wanted that feeling back, and I found it.

What began as a one-year experiment is now my lifestyle. If you have a great relationship with alcohol—if you can drink casually and never have to think twice—then you’re one of the lucky ones. But I’m not that person, and I wish I had realized it sooner.

Life is so much bigger, so much brighter, without alcohol weighing it down.

But if you’re struggling, know this: there’s another side of life out there waiting for you, full of freedom, clarity, and joy you might not have imagined yet.

I hope you all enjoy a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, and a safe and joyful New Year surrounded by family and friends.

Peace & Love

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